Monday, June 10, 2013

I am a Trainer - June 10, 2013


Dear Family and Friends,

Big news.....I´M GOING TO BE A MOTHER!!!!!! Now before you get carried away, let me explain. In the mission we have these ¨family trees¨of sorts. I don´t have time to explain the whole family tree but I’ll just say that your trainer is your mother. YEP! President called me on Saturday and told me that I’m going to be training. That was news that rocked my little missionary world! This is TERRIFYING TO ME!!!!! I am only half-way through my own training and now I have to abandon that and train a new hermana. I´m absolutely terrified right now. I´ve been in shock all weekend. I´m terrified because I really don´t know the language. I´ve improved drastically from the time I arrived here but I’m FAR from being able to do this on my own. I can speak and get my point across just fine but I still can´t understand the majority of what people say to me. If it´s gospel related than I can follow almost the entire conversation but as soon as there´s a change in topic I’m completely lost. It´s that darn theta! I love the theta but it just makes it incredibly difficult to understand anyone and they all talk soooo fast no matter how many times I ask them to slow down! Thinking about the fact that I’m going to have to do all the talking from now on FREAKS me out. Without the help of the lord this task is LITERALLY impossible. The other thing that I’m afraid of is that my trainee (hija) is going to absolutely HATE me because I don´t have a clue what I’m doing. I´m still learning how to be a missionary myself and now I’m expected to teach her to do things that I still don´t know yet.  I’m just scared that she´s going to lose patience with me very quickly and feel like she got jipped with her trainer. I´m heading down to Malaga in the morning to go pick her up. I still can´t believe this is actually happening. There are a few of my fears and doubts but they get cancelled out pretty quickly with my testimony.
1 Nephi 3:7 has been running through my mind all weekend. "And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."  If this is what the Lord wants me to do then I’ll do it. I know that the lord will provide a way for me to do this. I don´t know how, but he´ll do it. These next 3 months are going to be the hardest three months of my entire life but I think I’m ready. I´m not ready to train, lead, or take charge in the language but I am ready to be tested. I think I’m ready to fully rely on the Lord and put all of my trust in Him. I´m ready to be pushed to my limits because I know that the Savior will be right there with me. When we begin to understand the atonement we welcome hard things into our lives because we realize that without trials how on earth are we supposed to appreciate or use the atonement. How on earth can we begin to appreciate the atonement when we have never faced anything difficult in our lives? It´s in those moments that we don´t think we can go another day that we truly appreciate and understand the atonement. It takes on greater meaning to us. We see and feel the purpose of the atonement. I´m going to struggle a lot this next transfer and there are times that I’ll probably fall but the Lord will always be there to pick me back up. The Savior is my strength, my support, and my reason to move forward with each day. With God, nothing shall be impossible. I´ll be able to do this somehow. The Lord WILL provide a way. I´m excited for this because the lord is going to be able to mold me into the missionary that he needs me to be. Simply trust in the Lord and let him take care of the rest.
 I have absolutely NO CLUE why the Lord wants me to be a trainer now but I know that he has a plan and there´s a reason for this. Guess I’m about to find out.
Sorry I don´t have more time to write about much else. I have so much to do today to prepare for my hija to come to Elche. 
Thanks for all of your love and support! I never said that this would be easy, I only said that´d it would be worth it. 
Con todo mi amor,
Hermana Israelsen



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