This past week, I spent a lot of
time studying about the trials of our faith. I thought about Joseph Smith and
how he learned to glory in tribulation. As a I thought about Joseph and his
incredible attitude, I began to think about my own trials and how each one has
so profoundly affected my life for the better. I spent a lot of time thinking
about the trials that I have gone through since coming to Spain and I can
clearly see the purpose of each and every one of them now. So today I thought
that I´d take the opportunity to share with all of you some of the things I
have learned as I have passed through some refiner´s fires.
- Being isolated from other
missionaries and feeling so alone. The language barrier didn´t help in the
beginning either because I literally couldn´t communicate with anyone. In those
moments when I felt so utterly alone, my Savior came to my side. I learned for
myself that the Lord will never abandon us. He walked alone so that we would
never have to. I developed a deeper and stronger relationship with my lord and
savior than ever before because sometimes he was literally the only person I
could talk to. I can tell my Heavenly Father everything through prayer and he
always listens. He blesses me with his love and peace in those times when I
feel like I am forgotten. He let me know that he is aware of me through the
little tender mercies that happen each and every day.
- The struggles at home as my
amazing sister went through a very difficult trial while I was in the MTC.
I learned for myself that the Lord can truly make our burdens light. When my soul
was wracked with pain and sorrow the Lord filled me with comfort and hope. The Lord
gave me faith and a knowledge that everything would be ok and that it was all
in His hands. I felt the atonement in action. The Lord made my burdens light
and took away some of the pain and anguish as I turned to him. I also learned
to look outside of myself and help others while I myself was struggling. I
found that focusing on others is one of the greatest ways that we can find
relief to our own struggles and pains. It´s amazing how effective it is!
- Opening up a new area for
hermanas. The Lord truly humbled me and stripped me down to the core so that he
could build me into what he needed me to be. I learned to find joy in the
journey.
-Being asked to train a new sister
after only having 6 weeks in the field. I don´t think you understand how
absolutely terrifying that was for me. I am not kidding when I say that I still
couldn´t understand ANYTHING of what people were saying to me when I got dumped
on my own to train. Those were the most TERRIFYING 2 months of my entire life.
Walking out the door every day almost brought me to tears but I did it. Just
getting out of bed in the morning was an act of faith. I faced anxiety,
depression, and fear that I have never faced before in my life and I never want
to face again but I truly learned how to put ALL of my trust and confidence in
the Lord to face my fears and do what I knew was right. I learned how to say,
¨not my will be done but thiné¨. I learned how to say, ¨Thank you Lord, for
loving me enough to cut me down¨. Those were two of the hardest months that I
have ever had to face in my entire life but they made me grow faster than
anything else. My motto those few months was 1 Nephi 3:7. If the Lord asks me
to do it than he will provide a way. I am living proof that the Lord will
ALWAYS provide a way for us to do what he asks. Nothing is impossible with the Lord.
- My struggle with the language has
taught me to have patience with myself. I´ve come to know how to learn by the
spirit and ask for divine help when I am incapable of something on my own. I
have come to develop a strong testimony that all good things come with time and
effort.
-Getting incredibly sick in the
field. I saw a miracle. I saw evidence that the Lord provides miracles in
this day and age. There is nothing else to describe it other than a
miracle. I also developed a testimony of the power of prayer. I know
without a doubt that the Lord gave me that miracle because of all of
the prayers from home. It was the faith and love of those prayers that
provided me with a miracle. Thank you!!!!
-Opening another new area and
training. It has been difficult but I have learned a lot. We get rejected and
yelled at each and every day but I have learned to love it. I´m
proclaiming the reality of our Heavenly Father and our Savior and I don´t
care if people think I’m crazy. I only care what the Lord thinks of me. It´s His
view of me that matters. I have learned the importance of diligence and
faith. That sometimes the Lord has to test us to make sure that we will be
faithful in all things and then he will bless us.
First comes the trial of our
faith and then comes the blessings.
I remember praying for a trial of my faith in the MTC. That was the prayer that changed my life forever. I will forever be grateful for that prayer because it has made me into who I am today. Like it says in 1 Peter 1:7 my trials have become more precious to me than gold. They have changed me inside and out. I wouldn´t know the Lord like I do without them and that is a gift that is more precious than anything else on this earth.
Love you all!!! The Lord lives and I
love what I’m doing!!! I glory in tribulations!!! LOVE YOU!!!
Hermana Israelsen
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