"NOT MY WILL BUT THINE BE DONE"
Well, this week was interesting to
say the least. Some complete miracles and some huge obstacles.
We miraculously found some old
investigators that had disappeared off of the face of the earth and began
teaching them again. The Lord truly placed them in our path. So cool! Sad news.
Our two sweet investigators both had to have their baptismal dates pushed back a few
weeks because of some trials.
It has taken me a little while but
after hours of prayer, study, pondering, and a few cool experiences I can
honestly kneel down in prayer and say ¨Not my will but thine be done.¨ It took
me quite a while to get to this point though. When I first heard I was training
I tried to put on the brakes. I begged my heavenly father for any
possible way to get out of this situation. I was really putting on the
brakes and having a hard time moving forward. It has taken a lot of prayer and
dozens of humbling moments to get me to the point where I have finally accepted
my situation and the will of the lord for me. The Lord has called me to go
through this trial and if he were to give me a way out of it I would never
learn the things he needs me to learn.
I have been thinking a lot about the
story that Elder Christofferson gave in a general conference talk about the current bush.
There was a farmer who found this current bush which had been growing for a few
years but it wasn´t growing in a way that a current bush was supposed to grow. For
that the farmer pruned the current bush down to a stump so that it could start
again and he could help it grow into what he needed it to be. The current bush
began to cry and ask why the farmer cut him down but then the farmer explained
why. at the end the current bush said, ¨thank you for loving me enough to cut
me down.¨ I don´t have enough time to tell the rest of the story but I
encourage you to go read it for yourself on lds.org,
Go to link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDrhvm9EnJ4 and www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/as-many-as-i-love-i-rebuke
because it´s
awesome! Anyways, I´ve been thinking about that story again and again this
week.
As I kneeled in prayer last night I
poured my soul out to the Lord. At the end of my prayer I had this incredible
feeling of gratitude and a greater perspective on the trials I am facing at the
moment. I sincerely said, “Father, thank
you for loving me enough to cut me down.¨
The Lord doesn´t enjoy watching us suffer and he doesn´t just say,
I know it hurts right now but I promise you that it will get better." He
hurts when we suffer. He takes no joy in seeing us in pain but he understands
how necessary it is. That´s why we have the atonement. The atonement makes it
so that Christ can know exactly what to do to succor or help us in our trials.
Prayer has been my saving grace this week. I have truly come to understand
prayer a lot more. Prayer is the action by which the will of the father
and the child are brought into correspondence. As we come to change our prayers
from asking for things that we think that we need to ask for things that the
Lord wants then we will find greater power. Prayer is truly a supernal gift
from our heavenly father. I love this gospel and I will never be the same
again.
Thank you all for the love and
support! You´re all keeping me going! I love this work, no matter how difficult
it may be. Not my will but the Lord´s will be done.
Love,
Hermana Israelsen
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